the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize