just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
