i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize