First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
