so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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