I met the friendliest cop last night
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
