Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
