I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
