Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
