Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
