I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
they're like a gay fantastic four
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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