Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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