It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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