dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Come on in and take your pants off
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