I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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