but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
