i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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