smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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