Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
