He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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