i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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