who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
In America we eat man semen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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