look no pants
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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