is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
