I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do vagina's smell?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize