I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
