So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
