Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
