You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
