You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
