Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
