This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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