Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I love having hate sex.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
