exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
