Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize