I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
