Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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