Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
