Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
