I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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