its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My liver just had a heart attack.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
