You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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