he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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