I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
