Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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