I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
