hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
