I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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