he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's intense
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
