Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
