last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
