i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
