Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
