As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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