Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
