i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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