By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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