how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
