I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
