it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize